AVIATION DEFINITIONS
AILERONA hinged control surface on the wing that scares the heck out of airline passengers when it moves.
AIRPLANEThe infernal machine invented by two bicycle mechanics from Dayton, Ohio and perfected on the sands of the Outer Banks of Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. Precursor to the frisbee.
AIRSPEED
  1. The speed of an airplane through the air.
  2. True airspeed plus 20 percent when talking with other pilots.
    (Deduct 25 % when listening to an Air Force Pilot)
ALTERNATE
AIRPORT		The airport that no aircraft has sufficient fuel to proceed to if necessary.
CARBURETOR
ICE		Phrase used when reporting a forced landing caused by running out of fuel.
CHART
  1. Large piece of paper, useful for protecting cockpit surfaces from food and beverage stains.
  2. An aeronautical map that provides interesting patterns for the manufacturers of children's curtains.
COCKPIT
  1. A confined space in which two chickens fight each other, especially when they cannot find the airport in a rainstorm.
  2. Area in which the pilot sits while attempting to figure out where he is.
ENGINE FAILUREA condition that occurs when all of the fuel tanks become filled with air.
FLASHLIGHTTubular metal or plastic container kept in a pilots flight bag, used for storing dead batteries.
FLIGHT INSTRUCTORAn individual of dubious reputation paid vast sums of money to impact knowledge of questionable value and cast serious doubt on the co-ordination, intelligence, and ancestry of student pilots.
GLIDERFormerly 'airplane', prior to running out of fuel.
HANGARHome for anything that flies, mostly birds.
IFRI Follow Railroads.
NAVIGATIONThe process by which a pilot finds from point A to point B while actually trying to get to point C.
PILOTA poor mis-guided soul who talks about women when he is flying and about flying when he is with women.
RADARAn extremely realistic type of video game, often found at airports. Players try to send small game pieces, called 'blips', from one side of the screen to the other without colliding with each other.
The player with the fewest collisions wins.
S-TURNCourse flown by student pilots to go from point A to point B.
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